Dear Ifeyinwa

I’ve liked many girls. I won't lie.

Lots of them were sexy, some big, and some lacking in areas I will mention using a cough.

Forget o, I am a spec. The type of spec that will make your aunt roll her eyes and your sister’s neck break.

At least that was how I felt until I met Ifeyinwa.

Ifeyinwa was not like other girls I had known: she had a big bum bum, and when she walked it shook like the angry torrent of River Congo. Ifeyinwa’s skin resembled yellow pawpaw and her hair was very soft like processed wool. 

 We met at a crazy party in Awka, it was the after-party following my signing-out day. If there’s one thing Nnamdi Azikiwe University students enjoyed more than anything, it was to party. There was a party for everything; Freshers party, Welcome back to school party, Block party, lodge party, and even pre- Exam party. Ah ah, Una no dey tire?

Anyways at this party hosted by my class president(God bless his heart), I saw an interesting-looking lady in a slit maroon color dress sitting across the room in a perpetual romance with her phone.  I pinched my idiot of a friend Iyke because I couldn’t see this wonder alone

“Omo guy you dey see that babe?” I ask Iyke with my half-baked pidgin English. I no be Ajebutter o, but I sha no be Ajepako.

“Oh, that girl? I sabi am na” Iyke replies with food in his mouth. Iyke has really thin lips so when he’s eating, his entire teeth set is in constant battle with the food and his yellow chin. He says he knows the mystery lady but I doubt that. Not because he’s an idiot, but because he is a forgetful person.

“How you take sabi am?” I ask him again. 

“From block rosary. That girl baddd, come fine join” Iyke hypes up his memory while munching more food. 

“Church boy wey dey look girls, Iyke Iyke!!” I made faces at him with everything in me. No one was beyond my taunting, let alone Iyke. Iyke’s membership at the Legion of Mary evening prayers, however, might prove useful to me. 

I dust off my jacket, make sure my hair is in order, and make my way through the sweaty bodies to that holy grail that smiles sparingly.

“ Fine girl, why are you sitting alone?” My lips blurt out. Shit. I shouldn’t have said that, now it’ll make me look so desperate.

“Fine boy, I know your game” she replies me with the smoothest, tiniest, sexiest voice I’ve ever heard. Man don fall yakata. 

“I’m Gozie, and I know everyone at this party but you” I puff my chest, and my left brow was standing at attention. 

“ Is that so?” She looks around wearing a shade of surprise

“Mhm. To that effect, I’d love to know you better..uhm”

“Ifeyinwa. My name is Ifeyinwa” she chimes in

“Ifeyinwa, nice to meet you” I pull her hand and kiss it. See guys, don’t do this if you only want Bumbum and Royal Rumble.

“I see I have gotten myself a gentleman” Her face flushes with a touch of pink. I couldn’t tell if she was blushing or her makeup was melting. 

“Only if this lady is equal to the task” I purr while my eyes travel the nape of her neck to the heavy heavy that was hugging the seat.

“Hmm, we’ll see” she mutters

***

“Oh oh oh, Harder! Gozie Fuck! Deeper! Damn, you’re so good!! Oh shii!!! Fuck me harder!! You’re driving me crazy are you human!!!! Fuck!!!!!! This pussy is all yours!!!!” The tantalizing moans from Ifeyinwa set me on a pace of reckless abandon as I thrust and thrust in a motion of rhythmic lust. 

“Fuck!!! Ifeyniwa fuck!!!” I unloaded my cum on her. Fuck, I’m never leaving.